My Dearest Doctor
by Alaska Grace Spegleman
Summary: I will always write to him, my Man in the Stars, even if he can't respond. He left me here, in the Palace of the Angels, to keep us safe. I will always wait for him, because I know he's out there trying to find a way to save us. I will always write. I will always wait.
1. Chapter 1

_My Dearest Doctor, _

_This place you have brought me, your Angel's Palace, do you know what it is, truly? I suppose that it is a world, a beautiful one, but it's so strange. They're always singing in the Light. The people, or these Angels, the ones who aren't hiding or dead, they're always singing this song. It's so beautiful. I never tire of it. Amy, she's told me that it's for the people in pain. That their voices soothe them. Or is it the words that soothe them? I don't understand what they sing, but it doesn't diminish their effect on us._

_Doctor, how did you know about her? The Angels have only just told me. Well, they haven't said anything; they speak telepathically. But I suppose you already knew that. Amy and Rory, they tell me that you have your ways but don't explain much on that subject. I think about her all the time now that I know. I wonder; will she have your eyes? It would be wonderful if she did. I was thinking that she may have blonde hair like my mother if it's not brown. Now that I know she's coming, I can't wait for her to get here. Maybe by then you will have come back to us._

_The sky here… it's such a deep blue at night. I didn't think there could be a night in all of this Light, but there is if you pay attention. It gets very dim, but never dark. I think this is for the people who are hiding, since the dead don't really have to sleep. But I lay in bed and I look at the stars and I think of you. I think of all those stars that you could be traveling to in all of time and space, searching for a way to save us. But the sky here, it's made me think. It's so tragically beautiful; a graveyard of wishes, of hopes and promises. _

_My promise will never sleep in those stars._

_Yours Ever, _

_Grace_


	2. Chapter 2

_My Dearest Doctor,_

_These stars and songs give me plenty of time to think. I think that if this is what Heaven is like, I don't want to die, because there is nothing to do here. Then again, if this is what Heaven is like – peaceful; quiet; full of goodness and _with nothing to do_ – then I don't suppose I'd mind dying. _

_But I can't think of dying. Not with you still out there, because then it makes me think that something could stop you. You cannot run forever. None of us can. And I fall into this little cycle of impatience. I wake from what this world calls night. I sit and talk with Amy and Rory, sometimes only Amy, sometimes one Rory, about our lives before you and what happened after. About all the adventures we've had with you. And they will tell me that I will have so many more adventures together. That we will _all_ have adventures together, once she is old enough. _

_I've been thinking of names for her. _Elizabeth_, like my sister. Or Margaret, after my mother. Or maybe Evangeline or Lindsey or Christina. I wish you were here. I wish I knew more about your family. Maybe we could have named her after your sister or mother or aunt. _

_How about this: When you get back, we'll talk all about her. About how she'll travel, like you, and have your eyes and your humor and you sense of adventure. And me? I like to think that she'll have my nose. I think that's my favorite part of me, my nose. Maybe even have my love of art and books. I will most definitely teach her art, when you aren't teaching her about the TARDIS and about the stars she will travel to._

_Doctor, I've been thinking – because that's all there is to do here, to think and to talk – we are all very sad creatures. All of us; Time Lords and Humans and Angels alike. We are billions and billions of souls wondering our worlds and the worlds beyond trying to free ourselves from this heavy feeling in our chests. I don't know what that feeling is, not yet… but I think I may have an idea of it._

_Violet. I think her name should be Violet._

_Yours Ever,_

_Grace _


	3. Chapter 3

_My Dearest Doctor,_

_Every time I looked into your eyes I saw such sadness there that it broke my heart, even at the beginning when I hardly knew you. I saw a man who was very alone and very hurt. You have seen so much pain, Doctor, that before I knew it myself, I knew I wanted to ease your pain. Amy… she's told me about your planet. About what you had to do. When she told me, it all made sense. All the emotion behind your eyes when you saw me crying. All the times you made sure I was alright. You knew about Violet, and her and me, it brought everything back. It made you worry about losing your family all over again. Well, my dear, I think I should reassure you that you will never lose us. Not me, not Violet, not ever. Because it doesn't matter that we will always travel and that you will be in the stars and I will be here, waiting. It doesn't matter that I've left everything behind – I don't miss it, sweetie, there was nothing left for me there. And I will always love you. I will never regret getting into the TARDIS with you. Because you can re-write time, but no matter what, I'd still choose you. _

_We talk a lot, Amy and I. Swapping adventures and other things. She's an amazing woman, and Rory quite and interesting centurion. They're such beautiful people. Violet would love them, I know she would. I wish they could leave with us so that they could know her, and she them. Then we could all be this big and loud and growing family traveling all about the stars. How beautiful would that be?_

_Doctor, come back soon. I miss you. I can feel her growing inside me, but she's just this adorable small bump right on my stomach. But it's amazing to think that there's this tiny human there, and that one day I'll be holding her in my arms, and you'll be back and you'll take her from my arms and she'll look up at you with big blue eyes and give you this smile… I imagine her smiles most of all. And she'll call you "Daddy," and I'll be "Mom." _

_I can't wait to be a mother._

_Yours Ever,_

_Grace _


End file.
